Uncertain Stage Fright

For those who don't know this story, allow me to briefly recap. I took a directors workshop last month with Judith Weston. Basically, the class was an acting class populated by directors. It was eight hours a day for three days. We'd have to get up in front of the class a few times a day. Repetition exercises, monologues, scenes, improv. And, well, I loved it. And I don't think I sucked. At least according to some of the people in class with me, I didn't.

So, for some ridiculous reason, I've signed up for her Masters Class. Starting on Thursday March 30, we'll be working with two plays from a "master", in this case Eugene O'Neill, and we're to have a monologue from Long Day's Journey Into Night or Mourning Becomes Electra memorized for the first class.

Let me be clear about something: I could not be more scared.

I'm taking the class because, as Mike Nichols says, directing is creating a safe environment for an actor to "open a vein." And while that's yucky, it's true. So. I think learning what actors go through for that process can only improve my ability as a director to empathize.

But, the class starts THIS THURSDAY. And, I have to memorize a MONOLOGUE. Plus, it's expensive.

Something being difficult or scary is never an appropriate reason not to do it, yeah, yeah, I know that. And yes, some of the best things I've done in my life scared the living crap out of me. Here's what I'm taking as reassurance: "The future is uncertain... but this uncertainty is at the very heart of human creativity," Ilya Prigogine. Substitute "uncertain" for "stark, raving terror" -- it's not as melodic, but far more accurate.