Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Corporal punishment and Nicotine Withdrawal

So I know this girl who decided to stop smoking. She actually decided about 46 minutes ago. Now, see, in the past, this friend has been, well, less than successful in this particular endeavor. But she sounds to be fairly determined this time. She threw away the two packs she had at work and in her car. She threw away her lighters. She even decided she wouldn't be going with friends who take a quick smoke break and are more than willing to let her bum a quick cig.

Here's the problem: this particular girl has fairly deep-seeded avoidance issues. Whenever she feels frustrated, emotional, socially awkward, she uses the excuse for a quick smoke to compensate. So. What to do instead.

Below is my list of substitutionary diversions. For my friend. Please feel free to add any.

1. Chewing gum
3. Calling a friend and chatting
4. Taking a walk
5. Watch a movie
6. Watch TV
7. Watch the cat take a nap
8. Wake up the cat from taking a nap to play, and get swiped for her trouble.
9. Toss the cat off of the bed, and plot ways to get back at the cat for what will more than likely be infected cuts on her hand and arm.
10. "Forget" to refill the cat's food dish so that the cat has to eat the broken pieces at the bottom of the bowl that she's let build up and in her typical primadonna fashion subsequently refused to eat.
11. When the cat comes around whining because there isn't fresh, whole-piece food in her dish, telling the cat sternly "Maybe you should have thought about that before you literally bit the hand that feeds you." And then realized she was talking, aloud, to her cat. And that she was witholding food.
12. Pouring more food for her cat, and apologizing to said animal and asking forgiveness. From her cat.

So maybe nicotine withdrawal results in grouchiness, and a slight mental imbalance. I'll have to tell my friend that.

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